Archive for the ‘holiday wish list’ Category
This is my first time writing you a letter. I’ve always suspected, as two overweight creatures who like to squeeze in to small places, that we must have a lot in common.
Well, Santa, I think I’ve been a pretty good cat this year. I sit on my humans all the time and give them massages, I talk to them constantly, and I always make them feel welcome in my home. If I also bite them from time to time, well — no one’s perfect. In order to keep my spirits up, and because it’s hard to be good, here’s what I’d like this year. Read the rest of this entry »
We have been a pretty good bunch this year (alrighty, that might be lie). Okay, so there was that one time we pooped on your backdoor rug but in our defense the rug did say “Beware of Unstable Dogs” so we were just showing our biting sense of humor! We don’t ask for much (okay, that is most definitely a lie), but we are so cute we hope you look past our…well past digressions and give us some goodies to unwrap this year.
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So here’s the thing: last year when it was Christmas, I was only a baby. Mommy and Daddy told me that if I was a good girl, someone named “Santy Claws” would bring me something fun – but I was really, really good, and all I got was a stupid sweater! What’s up with that? Okay, maybe I wasn’t a perfect angel this year, but I’ve been trying really hard. Is it my fault that digging holes in the backyard is so much fun, or that daddy’s underwear tastes so freaking delicious? I think not. Anyway, here’s my excuse, Santa: I’m still a pup! These things happen! So maybe all I need is some incentive to be the sweet-eyed, smooshy-faced good girl that mommy and daddy want me to be. So here’s a few suggestions. You know, in case you need inspiration. I’m just sayin’.
This year, we’ve all been exceptionally good. Ok, ok, there were a few hiccups, but we promise that we meant no harm. Dim Sum is really more of an outdoorsy type, so you can’t blame her for running away for the day. Pookie’s allergic to dogs, which is why she has to swat and hiss at Milo multiple times a day. And Gizmo suffers from low blood sugar, so it’s imperative that he eat at 4am, 6am, and 9am. Really, if you ignore each of our quirks, you could say we’ve been pure angels and deserve a few special items this holiday season. Rather than waste anymore of your time with silly banter, lets get down to it Santa.