One of my favorite things in the entire world to do is pull up Google and then just type in part of a sentence to see what Google suggests I may be searching for. As an example, if I type in, “How does my cat,” the first three searches that it suggests that I pull up are: How does my cat know what time it is, how does my cat know I love him and how does my cat view me.
Let me tell you, I could play this game for hours because I find it endlessly funny. Why do I find it so funny? Well, because of what’s behind these questions. Who on earth is asking these things and why on earth am I not friends or at the very least pen pals with these people. I mean, how does my cat view me? Well I don’t know that my personal self-esteem is all that wrapped up in how my cat feels about me but I would say that my cat views me…with its eyes.
So this week for Raise A Paw I decided to do what I call Search and Rescue (meaning I search for the question and then rescue it with what I deem should be the appropriate answer if I were in charge of the internet) Raise A Paw style with what I consider to be some of the best searches that I’ve come across so far. Enjoy!
Question: Can my cat have a Facebook account?
- Can and should my friend. Can. And. Should.
Question: Why does your dog stare at you?
- This question seems to be directed at me and as I don’t own a dog I’m both troubled and curious about the fact that there seems to be a dog following me, staring at me and I’m the only one who doesn’t know about it.
Question: Why do pets like to be petted?
- Because it’s in their name. No other reason.
Question: Is my bird a boy or a girl?
- Whoo boy.
Question: Why does my turtle make bubbles?
- Too much fiber, not enough Bean-o.
Question: What happens if my hamster gets wet?
- It will multiply into hundreds of other little demon hamsters and take over New York City! Ahhh!
Question: Can I use a lint roller on my cat?
- …oh man.
Question: What happens when dogs hump?
- Digital Underground busts in and drops a beat.
Question: How can I make my parakeet stop loving mirrors?
- Make it an appointment with a sex therapist, immediately.
Question: Should I name my pet goat?
- Yes, of course. Unless you want to just keep calling it “my pet goat,” which will then indirectly become its name: My Pet Goat.