So here’s the thing: last year when it was Christmas, I was only a baby. Mommy and Daddy told me that if I was a good girl, someone named “Santy Claws” would bring me something fun – but I was really, really good, and all I got was a stupid sweater! What’s up with that? Okay, maybe I wasn’t a perfect angel this year, but I’ve been trying really hard. Is it my fault that digging holes in the backyard is so much fun, or that daddy’s underwear tastes so freaking delicious? I think not. Anyway, here’s my excuse, Santa: I’m still a pup! These things happen! So maybe all I need is some incentive to be the sweet-eyed, smooshy-faced good girl that mommy and daddy want me to be. So here’s a few suggestions. You know, in case you need inspiration. I’m just sayin’.
1. Kong Wubba (large), $7.98 from Amazon
Best. Toy. EVER. It’s great for tugging! It squeaks if you bite it! You can grab the dangly things and smack the hard rubber end against your mommy’s legs when she least expects it! Ah, good times. And yes, I totally need three of them; Wubbas are tough toys, but they can get slobbery and smelly over time. When that happens, mommy takes it from me and hides it in the monster she uses to wash delicious dirty clothes. If I had two backups, I would never be without my precious wubba!
2. Union Jack Bed, $240 from Unleashed Life
Okay, this is kind of a stretch, but hear me out. I’m an Olde English Bulldogge, which my mommy and daddy just love. They’re always watching shows like Top Gear (which I don’t like because it makes scary noises) and Masterpiece Theatre (which I like because it puts me to sleep). So I thought they’d get a kick out of this bed, which proudly displays a Union Jack, the symbol of my ancestors’ mommies and daddies. To be honest, I’ve also been needing a new bed – ever since I, ahem, chewed on the zipper to my Molly Mutt – and this one looks super comfy!
3. The Latch coat, $99 from Babies and Beasts
I have a hard time finding clothes that fit. I’m a big girl – not fat, but I’m kind of built like a linebacker (whatever that is). This coat is cool because it’s made specifically for dogs with broad chests, like me! Plus, it’s waterproof, and the pretty eggplant color would look great with my gorgeous red fur – or so my mommy tells me. I’m colorblind, so I’m taking her word for it.
4. Raised Dog Bowls (large), $45 from ModPet
When I was little, I used to throw my melamine bowls around the kitchen until they cracked and fell apart. Man, that was fun. Seeing as how I’m now all grown up and mature, I think it’s time I had some awesome looking bowls. Not only are these bowls stylish, but they’re raised off the ground, which I think would make eating a little easier. These would be perfect for dogs both big and small, but I definitely need the large size. Bigger bowl = more crunchies, right? Right?
5. Hurley (large), $13.60 from West Paw Design
I’m what you call an “aggressive chewer,” which is weird – I don’t have an aggressive bone in my body! I guess it just means I like to take something and chew and chew and chew until it falls apart. My latest bacon-flavored Nylabone lasted maybe ten minutes. So I’m totally on the lookout for durable chew toys that will go the distance with my super-strong teeth. This bone by Hurley is “guaranteed tough”! It’s also eco friendly, but it may need a little help in the bacon-flavor department.
I think that about covers it, Santa. I’m really counting on you this year!
With cuddles and sloppy kisses,
(Oh, and that I also want maybe ten smoked beef knuckle bones goes without saying, right? You’re the man.)
MORE HOLIDAY WISH LISTS
- Willy and Zena’s Holiday Wish List
- Dim Sum, Gizmo, Pookie & Milo’s Holiday Wish List
- Henry and Arthur’s Holiday Wish List
- Gida’s Holiday Wish List
- Happy and Joey’s Holiday Wish List
- P. Kitty and Biggie Smalls’ Holiday Wish List