I am not dating anyone, because I’m married. But apparently I am almost married to a cat — fortunately for my spouse, he has never pooped in our living room. He’s kinda hairy though, and he does complain when I don’t feed him, and he’s not great about keeping his nails trimmed sometimes. Hmm.
One-Eyed Willy will be jealous, I think.
Check the flow chart and see if you are dating a feline, or an actual human person. (Feel free to sub in “she” for he! Ladies can be hairy too, right?)